So I want to pull my hair out...

So I just got word from the butthole that he got Ethan a cell phone! A firefly, one of those phones that can only call a few numbers. Well he got it and then decided to go with AT&T instead of Sprint since sprint doesn't do the firefly, he could of returned the firefly and gotten something else thru sprint but I think he did it this way so that he doesn't have to pay for my phone anymore. So I won't have a phone in two weeks. Actually he's going to start paying now since the child support is court ordered and I'll get my own phone. He's been trying to get Ethan to come out to Oregon like crazy lately, it's pathetic since he's trying everything he can to not pay child support. I told him he needs to quit putting things in his head, because Ethan doesn't understand that he won't be there for him ever! I told him that Ethan wants to see HIM not the stranger that he'd be dumping him off with. I'm so mad. I wish this was just over soon. I just want to get the divorce over with and get on with my life. I just spoke with another one of my friends and she left her husband. What is wrong with these men?!?! What happened to love? What happened to marriage? and kindness? Why does he feel the need to be rude to me when we are on the phone when he's the reason why we are in this situation? Why can't he just let things go, and let me have my way right now, I'm not going to do anything that'll have a bad end for him. I don't want the boys to think that I'm mean, and I'm not! I've done things that no normal person would, in fact people keep asking me if I'm still in love with him. I'm by far in love, I just don't want to fight anymore. I'm sick of Ethan being around yelling and fighting all the time. I don't feel like a very good parent. I'm feeling like a failure but I won't give up on them, they are my life and they need me to hang in there. So I will.